Episode 1. Blessings in Mercy
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Every now and then, each of us has a bad hair day – we get out of the wrong side of the bed – one of those days when we’re just not at our best. Wouldn’t it be great if on those days the …
Every now and then, each of us has a bad hair day – we get out of the wrong side of the bed – one of those days when we’re just not at our best. Wouldn’t it be great if on those days the people around us just cut us some slack.
Let me ask you a question: Have you ever been feeling a bit off your game, off color, a bit down, a bit irritable?
That happens to a lot of us. We all have our off days. But somehow, on those days, our mood and our needs don’t seem to fit with the daily grind, the routine of all of those people around us. Life just goes on, and just on that day when you need some compassion, you need someone to cut you some slack, it feels as though we’ve run into a brick wall. It feels as though we’re part of this cold, uncaring machine. Would someone just give me a break? What we’re crying out for, there, is mercy. Jesus talked about mercy. He said:
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall receive mercy. (Matthew 5:7)
That was on the Sermon on the Mount. A lot of us have heard the Sermon on the Mount. There’re a whole series of “Blessed are they” sayings. And I have to say of all of the “Blessed are they” sayings, this is one of my favorites. It talks about both sides of the ledger: giving mercy and receiving mercy.
Now mercy is kind of an old fashioned word, isn’t it? We often think of it in judicial terms. You know, when you’re watching the movies and the bad guy’s got the weapon and the good guy’s lying on the ground and he’s calling out for mercy. We tend to think of it in those terms, or at least I do.
So what is mercy? Does it have a role to play in our everyday lives? My favorite definition of mercy is cutting someone some slack, giving them a bit of a break.
When I was growing up I used to look at street people and unemployed people and think of them as being lazy. I grew up in a really nice home. I went to a really good school, and I looked down on people like that. And if people were unschooled, I thought: “Well, they should have worked harder. They should have studied harder at school”. And if people were begging I used to think: “Well, they get social security”. If people were drug addicts I’d say, “Well, they shouldn’t have injected with the drugs in the first place.” I guess you could say all of those things were right.
But when you study the facts, 75% of homeless people in this country have at least one mental disorder. Ninety-three percent of homeless people in this country have had at least one major trauma in their lives.
What’s a trauma event? It’s watching a murder. It’s being assaulted. It’s being raped. That’s a trauma event—93%. It makes you look at things a bit differently, doesn’t it?
Sometimes we look at people and we look at their behavior and we say, “Well, here’s this grumpy friend of mine at work. You know, the boss is grumpy today.” And you think: Ah, I’ve had enough of him. Or maybe, husbands, your wife has PMT and you think: I’ve definitely had enough of this.
Well, maybe you’re dealing with an insecure person, and insecure people struggle to operate when there are other people around. And so, this insecure person is reacting badly. And you think: “Oh, I’ve had enough of this person”. And so we react badly back to them. We dish back to them what they have dished up to us. And so, arguments start; and so, disunity starts. And frankly, so wars start. We can focus on people’s behavior or we can look behind the behavior and think: What’s the cause? What’s motivating this?
Maybe the grumpy boss at work, maybe his marriage is falling apart. Maybe he and his wife have been arguing and fighting and they’re in the throws of getting a divorce. Maybe your wife with the PMT—well, her hormones are just ruining her life at the moment. And she’s struggling and hurting and looking to her husband for some support and help. And maybe this insecure person, maybe they have such deep hurts and pain from the past that they haven’t been healed from. Maybe that’s what’s causing them to behave the way that they’re behaving.
Mercy is forgiving the behavior and trying to understand the cause. Mercy is shifting our focus from the bad things that people do sometimes and trying to heal what’s living behind. Mercy is instant forgiveness based on an understanding of the hurt that lies inside of a person.
We have a choice. We can react badly or we can exercise mercy. And when we exercise mercy, all we’re saying is, “I care more about you than I care about your bad behavior.”
I’d like you to do something with me. And it might seem a little bit strange. I would like you to say these words with me: “I am merciful.”
Let’s do it together. “I am merciful.”
Now, let me ask you: Are you merciful? Are you full of mercy?
Mercy is an incredible gift. It liberates the person to whom we’ve shown mercy because it says, “I love you unconditionally. It doesn’t matter what you do. It doesn’t matter how you behave. It doesn’t matter how horrible you are to me. I will love you. And I will care about the pain that sits inside your heart that’s causing you to behave that way.”
When someone’s down, we have a choice. We can either kick them while they’re down or we can reach out with a helping hand. “But,” you might say, “They don’t deserve it. This person is being horrible to me.” Let me give you an insight. By definition, mercy isn’t mercy unless it’s undeserved. Let me say that again. Mercy is not mercy unless it’s undeserved.
It’s easy to love the people who are nice to us. It’s easy to be kind to them; but what about the people who are not nice to us? They’re the people who undeservedly need the mercy that you and I can give. And here’s another insight.
Exercising mercy is almost never fun. It almost never feels very good at the time because when someone is attacking us or someone’s hurting us, we naturally want to do that back to them. For me, at least, exercising mercy is about gritting my teeth, about letting a person’s behavior wash by and about loving that person unconditionally.
I wonder how many divorces in our society would not happen if husbands and wives showed more mercy to one another, if they forgave each other instantly—not after a day, not after not talking to each other for two weeks, but instantly because they love one another. Mercy is a decision. It is a proactive step and it costs. It comes at a price.
If I look back at the merciful people in my life, the people who loved me and helped me when I didn’t deserve it — I should tell you, I would walk over broken glass for those people. And isn’t it true that people who have been kind to us at times that we look back and we know we didn’t deserve it, they are the people who mean the most to us in our lives?
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall receive mercy. (Matthew 5:7)
God says:
for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7)
There are two sides to the equation.
It’s interesting. A few years ago when I used to commute into the city there was one long stretch of road about 2 kilometers long and it was always chock-a-block. It was always bumper to bumper. And there’re a whole series of roads from the left where people would come and they would try and get into the traffic. And I’m willing to play a game. I would let the first person into the very first road that I came to. I would allow them in.
And you know something? They would allow the next person in. And those people would allow the other people in. And nine times out of ten, if I let one person in, all of those people would show mercy and let the other people in at the next intersections. Mercy is catching. When we show someone mercy often they show the next person mercy. And that person shows the next person mercy. It’s like throwing a pebble into a pond.
Why, because mercy is liberating. Mercy is showing unconditional love. It transforms people. It changes people’s lives and it comes around.
Now, let me ask you a question: If it’s true among people, how much more true is it of our God?
Blessed are the merciful, For they shall receive mercy. (Matthew 5:7)
Isn’t it an exciting thing, a liberating thing to think that my kindness, my instant forgiveness of someone who is reacting badly can change their lives for the better?
Blessed are the merciful.
Comments
Faith Mwaniki
Hi Patrick….thank you for those encouraging words. We thank God!….God bless you.
Patrick Mwamba
Thank you for this messages they are making me stronger in the Lord each passing day.